Sunday, March 29, 2009

Bittersweet

Next week our little girl turns three months old. I can't believe it. The time is literally flying by and it scares me. I am trying to catch every moment and frame it in my memory as I did with C but it is harder this time around. With two little ones it is pretty much impossible to give your full, undivided attention to both at the same time. Time seemed to go by a little slower then with our first. Now it seems as though overnight our little newborn has transformed into this chunky, happy, giggly baby. I want to bottle up her sweet, baby scent and keep it forever. I want to be able to re-visit the touch of her cheek against mine and the smiling, cooing shrieks she makes when she lays eyes on her Daddy. The way her eyes light up with excitement when her sister comes over to tickle her or to plant a big kiss on her lips. Her beautiful eyes looking up at me as I nurse her.

Our baby isn't the only one sprouting up as C seems to be growing before our very eyes. She changes every day. It is so beautiful and yet so sad. When A was born, our little C seemed to transform from a baby to a toddler overnight. Now that some time has passed by I can still see the baby in her. The baby, the toddler and the girl trying so hard to get her point across. The girl who thinks she is just like us, a little smaller perhaps but that doesn't make a difference to her. "I do it!" she says, as she struggles with her pant legs, sometimes putting both legs in the same hole. I try to help her but no she has to do it. When did this happen, this sudden independence?

The sweetness of these two beautiful children of ours makes my heart ache with happiness and sadness. C is already 2 1/2 years old. They grow so fast and although I look forward to watching them grow, it is bittersweet as I say goodbye to every month that passes. I am trying to implant these moments in my memory, but memories eventually fade like old photographs. I wish I could keep the freshness and the purity of every moment to relive again and again.
Posted by Nadia at 9:05 p.m.
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6 comments:

Kelly (conversemomma) said...

I keep telling my husband that I want to freeze frame my chidren in this moment, at ages 1 and 2. I want to Peter Pan them into being my small little babies forever. I mourn their growing as much as I celebrate every milestone

March 30, 2009 at 1:14 p.m.
Beck said...

She's a lovely little girl.
I do think that having less attention is actually good for kids, that the intense focus on just one child is hard to bear.
My oldest? Is turning 10 this spring. Two digits!

March 30, 2009 at 1:59 p.m.
Woman in a Window said...

It is hard to see them grow so quickly but you know, keeping little notes here will go a long was to preserving memories. I wish I blogged when mine were little. Hold 'em tight.

March 30, 2009 at 7:27 p.m.
Nadia said...

Kelly: My feelings exactly!

Beck: I think so too but at at the same time I miss that one on one. It is as if C got the cake and icing and A just the cake. You know what I mean? 10 wow! That's a biggy :).

Erin: Yes its funny how a post here and there can preserve memories. Even if you don't write down all the details, when you as the author re-read the post you are brought back to that moment.

March 31, 2009 at 9:35 a.m.
Mary G said...

After missing some perfect Kodak moments, I learned to keep a loaded camera where I could reach it quickly. Looking at the old photos brings back so much. The writing is a different kind of record. I wrote (pre blogging days) weekly letters to my mother, who lived a three hour drive away, with lots of detail about how they grew. And when she looked after them, I wrote a manual for each girl at each stage. My mother kept all this, and reading the letters and notes gives me back detailed memories.
I think that blogging is a branch of the same tree.
And, you know, I see the baby, child and girl in the adult women, all the time.

April 1, 2009 at 2:52 p.m.
Mon said...

I've tried to document some moments because it's so fast it's a blur!
But even those sweetest moments that I will forget, in their detail, will never be forgotten in 'feel'.

She sounds like a loving and sociable little thing, awww.

April 3, 2009 at 4:25 a.m.

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