My girls

It's already middle of July and my baby is almost 4. I can't believe it.

This parenting gig is quite funny. You think you'll be the one teaching them everything, when the truth is, they teach you. Every day they teach you something. Patience is a virtue I have yet to master and with these two, I hope and pray that one day I will.

This little monkey? She is a ball of fire! A walking, talking, screaming ball of fire. Don't let her looks fool you :). She has the sweetest little chipmunk voice that makes your heart melt every time you hear it.

Oh how I love these two little girls of mine!

2010 A New Year

January 1, 2010. Another year has gone by amazingly enough!

Happy New Year my friends! Hoping 2010 is filled with happiness, health and everything you wish it to be.

2009 was an amazing year!

A Kindred Spirit

It isn't every day that you meet people who touch you, I mean really touch you.
She was an elderly woman, frail and thin. She wore a floppy straw hat with a ribbon tied about her throat. What caught you, what held your attention was her eyes. They glittered and sparkled with life. Her voice grabbed you with its sincerity and kindness.

She immigrated to Ontario from Holland in 1953. The schools there left her fluent in Dutch, German and English although she never quite finished the last couple years of her schooling.

She told me she travels across the provinces every year in her camper with her little dog. I was so drawn to her wisdom, her intellect. We talked about books, writing, literature and various other subjects. She told me that she loves Children books. She is an aspiring writer and just finished one of the few writing courses she's completed over the years.

I can't tell you what it was exactly about her but just being around her was an honor. Honestly, I don't know whether its a second sense, but I can feel people. I can feel their hatred, their agony, their sadness and I can also feel pureness, kindness and true, honest, happiness. She inspired me more in a 20 minute chat then I can put into words and I told her this before she left.

Life is much to short to keep these things to ourselves. Many things in life have taught me this valuable lesson. It was a gift to see her face light up when I told her.

I took her address down before she left and will write to her in the next couple of weeks to see how she is keeping. Hopefully we will be able to keep in touch. When she left, she gave both my husband and myself a hug and said if she was able to make it up here again, she would make sure to stop in. She said we made a beautiful couple :).

Birthdays & Teething

Days are running away on me. I can't believe its the end of September! Our little girl turns 3 years old next week! Hiding her presents has proven to be quite the feat as her little eyes don't miss a thing.

A is now working on her 4th tooth and isn't too happy about it either. The poor babe is up most of the night and is velcroed to me most of the day. There are lots of cuddles and hugs being passed around.

This teething business is awfully strange. Both of our girls had all four teeth break through in a matter of 2-3 weeks! I wish it was a bit more gradual so it wouldn't be as painful for them.

Another strange thing happened, I lost complete track of time and thought we were going away this weekend. Turns out its next weekend! I'd like to blame it on mommy-brain but unfortunately its due to lack of an agenda - which I should be getting any day now Hallelujah!

Still

I'm sitting here with a baby at my chest. Her teeth have cut through and napping is difficult without Mama. As soon as I put her into the sling, she rested her head against my chest and was out in 2 minutes. Her sister is refreshing her mind and body with a nap and my husband is cutting the lawn. The breeze blows sounds crickets, cars and transports throughout the house. There are dishes to be done, toys to pick up and calls to be made but I finally have a moment of silence. A moment to breath and just be.

Summer is almost at its end and I still can't believe it. I feel as though I'm standing still and life is the one dipping and swirling around me. It throws challenges and hurls surprises, good and bad. You never know whats to come. But I no longer resist. I can only pray and hope for the best. Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be.

Everything happens for a reason

We had an incident that occured a few weeks ago that was rather disruptive. Of course, as usual I would dwell on all the negative and my husband, (as usual) looked on the bright side of it all. In the end, the incident ended up being a huge blessing in disguise and I learnt a valuable lesson.

Sometimes things happen that you could never anticipate, things that temporarily disrupt your life and turn it upside down. By dwelling in the unhappiness or submerging yourself in self-pity, everything looks grey and bleak. I've noticed that constant focus on the negative can actually cause us to overlook the bits of sunshine that shine through. There is always a flip side to everything, a brighter side and I think if we can focus on the positive instead of the negative, new people and opportunities walk into your life, business or relationships that otherwise wouldn't have. Sometimes you have to go through some negativity or unhappiness to make way for the future joys and opportunities that lie ahead.

My Love

There is a love that is rare and hard to find. The one that doesn't depend on anything to exist. It just is. The love that isn't based on money, occupation, experience, age, color, race or history. The love that fills every pore of your body and every inch of your soul; that only grows stronger as the years go by.

I don't know what I did to deserve this love but I am fortunate to call myself the holder of this precious gift.

He thinks with a calm, clear head. There is no anger, no frustration just pure sense. When you look into his eyes all you see is his soul. He is pure goodness. There are some people who inspire you to do better, fix your faults, become a better human being just by knowing them. He is one of those people. I admire, love and adore him all at the same time.

Nothing comes free in this world. We've been through many hardships over the years and have had to fight for this relationship. There was never a question of giving up or letting go. Can you give up your breath? Your oxygen?

If there are angels in this world or in this universe, I believe one came down from heaven the year he was born.

"True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart."
--Honore de Balzac

The weather has finally turned. Cold and bitter no longer; spring has finally arrived. You can actually smell the freshness of spring in the air and almost taste it. So clean and sweet; I adore spring. Everything coming to life again. It brings joy to my soul.

We went for a walk today, C, A and I. As we walked by some blue recycling bins, I explained to C what they were for, going into detail about recycling, the environment, bottles, cans etc. At the end of my explanation, with a serious look on her face, she says to me, "Wow thats pretty cool mama." It took me everything I had not to burst out laughing!

Shortly after this exchange we passed by a house with three decorative butterflies on the outside, near the front door. After spotting them C said to me, " Oh Mama, look at the butterflies! C loves butterflies, they are beautiful." It was so sweet. This little girl with her curly locks of spun gold blowing in the wind, the big sister, my first born. She takes my breath away all the time.

A has such a quiet personality. It might be too early to tell of course but she seems to be more observant than her sister. She looks at everything in thoughtful silence and loves to watch C, smiling at her silly faces. She just always seems so peaceful, so content. When I'm nursing her and she looks up at me with those big innocent eyes. When she smiles, when she sleeps, every time I look at her I feel my heart growing. Its feels as if it would burst at times.

Motherhood is full of challenges and frustrations but there are so many precious moments. Moments that can only be described as magical bits of heaven. Its easy to miss them if you let the everyday hustle and bustle engulf you. I think its like that with everything really. Hanging on to the past; it makes life unpleasant and you miss so much of the beauty and happiness around you.

Four births and two funerals

Two deaths in my family and three beautiful babies brought into this world on my husband's side not including our own precious daughter. Its sad and beautiful at the same time. Two lives full of experiences and memories. People who meant the world to their family and friends. People who changed lives and brought love to so many. Those two people are no longer. Their families, children and friends in mourning.
And yet four brand new lives have entered the world. Four beautiful children who have no idea how much joy they bring their parents and families. Four beautiful souls who have their entire lives ahead of them.

Life doesn't stop for one or the other. It really puts things into perspective. Each moment is so precious, each memory everlasting.