Bittersweet

Next week our little girl turns three months old. I can't believe it. The time is literally flying by and it scares me. I am trying to catch every moment and frame it in my memory as I did with C but it is harder this time around. With two little ones it is pretty much impossible to give your full, undivided attention to both at the same time. Time seemed to go by a little slower then with our first. Now it seems as though overnight our little newborn has transformed into this chunky, happy, giggly baby. I want to bottle up her sweet, baby scent and keep it forever. I want to be able to re-visit the touch of her cheek against mine and the smiling, cooing shrieks she makes when she lays eyes on her Daddy. The way her eyes light up with excitement when her sister comes over to tickle her or to plant a big kiss on her lips. Her beautiful eyes looking up at me as I nurse her.

Our baby isn't the only one sprouting up as C seems to be growing before our very eyes. She changes every day. It is so beautiful and yet so sad. When A was born, our little C seemed to transform from a baby to a toddler overnight. Now that some time has passed by I can still see the baby in her. The baby, the toddler and the girl trying so hard to get her point across. The girl who thinks she is just like us, a little smaller perhaps but that doesn't make a difference to her. "I do it!" she says, as she struggles with her pant legs, sometimes putting both legs in the same hole. I try to help her but no she has to do it. When did this happen, this sudden independence?

The sweetness of these two beautiful children of ours makes my heart ache with happiness and sadness. C is already 2 1/2 years old. They grow so fast and although I look forward to watching them grow, it is bittersweet as I say goodbye to every month that passes. I am trying to implant these moments in my memory, but memories eventually fade like old photographs. I wish I could keep the freshness and the purity of every moment to relive again and again.